NWSFLSH: Michael Jordan Rapes Vancouver Grizzlies TO DEATH

You may remember this newsflash if you're from Vancouver...

From the November 31, 1995 Vancouver Sun:

(VANCOUVER) - Vancouver fans may have believed their third-ever win was possible last night, until they were unpleasantly surprised by how capable a real live professional athlete can be. The Grizzlies led the Chicago Bulls by 6 points with 6 minutes remaining in the Grizzlies' 18th game in franchise history, until professional basketball player Michael Jordan put on his Ted Bundy outfit and proceeded to rape the fucking shit out of our young team, littering the court with the defiled corpses of second-rate athletes. Anthony Avent finished with 4 points.

by Jeffy Jefferson

19 points in the last 6 minutes of the game, and not just with a bunch of boring jumpers. Not even Greg "14-points-a-game-and-thus-top-scorer-on-the-team" Anthony could step in his way.

I think my favourite moment is at 1:32 when he draws a foul from Big Country. It's like Ironman fighting a villain made out of big slow idiot instead of omnium steel. The replays are awesome.