My First Youtube Video Remix

Idiot + FOX News =

Me+ Poverty + Unable to go out on Saturday night + Bored as hell =

FUUUUCK

I apologize for turning this 'blog of questionable repute' into a 'blog of much neglect'. How's about a ma'fuckin update, clown?

Well... How's THIS for lazy blogging? BAM!

What about THIS?

How about some of THESE?

This blog has little focus and even less direction. It gets better, I promise.

I also have about six thousand new graffiti photos, which I will upload as soon as my primitive Czech village gets electricity.

Celeb Movie Reviewzz: Cannibal Holocaust

Well that was quick. Peter Koss, who seems to be the only person to respond to these shitty non-'contests', was the first to figure out that our guest writer a few days ago was none other than Adam "Pacman" Jones, although I do prefer answers to be in the form of a question and repeated in triplicate wherever possible. You're 2-0, Pete. Hook up the mailing address.

Now it's time for another edition of Crunk in Public's Celeb Movie Reviewzz. This afternoon we're pleased to have respected 'subversive' actor/director/producer George Clooney with us. Mr. Clooney was Michael Clayton in the good film Michael Clayton. Today we've watched Rugerro Deodato's 1980 film, Cannibal Holocaust, which may deserve a bit of an introduction before we get into talking about it. 

Firstly, this is not to be confused with the 1992 hit single Cannibal Holocaust by Brutal Juice, the one that came with that B-side Punk Fuck. Not that one. The one I'm talking about is the extremely controversial and totally fucked up film that was banned in a fair number of countries due to its disturbing content. In order to qualify for free distribution around Europe, the film stars two Italian actors. The shooting is said to have been an absolute nightmare, and the release didn't go any better. After the premiere, director Deodato (who, by the way, is OUT OF HIS MIND) faced life in prison because Italian courts believed the graphic deaths in the film were real. To make things worse, the actors had signed contracts forbidding them to come forward to the media for at least one year in order to make it seem like the story was true. This would have been an awesome publicity stunt, until the heat really came down on him and in order to save his own ass he ultimately had to go on a talk show with the cast to prove they were alive.

I can't say anything more about the movie other than it lives up to its title, and that out of principle I will not link to its Wikipedia site. I suppose that is a somewhat suitable introduction. So, Mr. Clooney, would you care to begin with your thoughts on the film?

Mr. Clooney:

Ryan: I must admit I am also rather troubled right now as a direct result of the things we have just witnessed.

Ace Ventura Jr. ...wait, what?

Either this idea sucks or I'm just pissed I've never had my own straight-to-DVD movie deal.

You suck, kid. Stand up straight, you idiot.

Things I've Missed Out On: Brad Renfro's Funeral

So I really do hate people who write about celebrities all the time, but this is something that's gripped my mind for a while now. And it's more about actors. Anyways, remember how former child actor and awesome cult film star Brad Renfro, perhaps best known for his roles in Apt Pupil, Bully (which was fucking AWESOME), and Happy Campers, died earlier this year, exactly one week before Heath "Brokeback/Joker/Renfro Eclipser" Ledger? Probably not, cause the man never got his due recognition. Nor will he, even in death, because of how close his death was to a bigger star. A simple address bar search for "heathbaby.com" produces a massive fansite. Bradbaby.com? Fuck no.

Granted, Ledger was really good in The Dark Knight. But Renfro was The Client, man. Did anyone see that??

Did his death make the cover of any magazines? No.

Did anyone from Hollywood make a fuss? Absolutely not.

Did he even have a funeral? It seems improbable.

And maybe the most troubling question: Why couldn't it have been JTT?