When Advertising Goes Oh So Right

You may have seen this, and I usually refrain from posting videos, because there are so many of them and they are not really the focus of this blog, but this is the best thing I have seen in a long time. It is taken from a recent broadcast of Battlestar Galactica on the Space network, where apparently Jesus Christ Himself is working overtime as the Hilarious Advertising Placement Manager. Make sure you watch it to the end. Alls I will say is, ka-blammo.



Alleluia!

Celeb Movie Reviewzz: Cannibal Holocaust

Well that was quick. Peter Koss, who seems to be the only person to respond to these shitty non-'contests', was the first to figure out that our guest writer a few days ago was none other than Adam "Pacman" Jones, although I do prefer answers to be in the form of a question and repeated in triplicate wherever possible. You're 2-0, Pete. Hook up the mailing address.

Now it's time for another edition of Crunk in Public's Celeb Movie Reviewzz. This afternoon we're pleased to have respected 'subversive' actor/director/producer George Clooney with us. Mr. Clooney was Michael Clayton in the good film Michael Clayton. Today we've watched Rugerro Deodato's 1980 film, Cannibal Holocaust, which may deserve a bit of an introduction before we get into talking about it. 

Firstly, this is not to be confused with the 1992 hit single Cannibal Holocaust by Brutal Juice, the one that came with that B-side Punk Fuck. Not that one. The one I'm talking about is the extremely controversial and totally fucked up film that was banned in a fair number of countries due to its disturbing content. In order to qualify for free distribution around Europe, the film stars two Italian actors. The shooting is said to have been an absolute nightmare, and the release didn't go any better. After the premiere, director Deodato (who, by the way, is OUT OF HIS MIND) faced life in prison because Italian courts believed the graphic deaths in the film were real. To make things worse, the actors had signed contracts forbidding them to come forward to the media for at least one year in order to make it seem like the story was true. This would have been an awesome publicity stunt, until the heat really came down on him and in order to save his own ass he ultimately had to go on a talk show with the cast to prove they were alive.

I can't say anything more about the movie other than it lives up to its title, and that out of principle I will not link to its Wikipedia site. I suppose that is a somewhat suitable introduction. So, Mr. Clooney, would you care to begin with your thoughts on the film?

Mr. Clooney:

Ryan: I must admit I am also rather troubled right now as a direct result of the things we have just witnessed.

NWSFLSH: Man Shoots Breeze, Self

This is why I pack my nine in a holster.

Disgraced football star Plaxico Buress was behind this beautiful excerpt from a police report (thanks Pat):

"...informant observed defendant holding a drink in his left hand while fidgeting with his right hand in the area of the waistline of his pants as he entered the upper VIP area of the Latin Quarter Club... Informant then heard a 'pop' sound and defendant stated in substance, "Take me to a hospital." Informant then observed defendant's legs begin to shake and as defendant's legs were shaking, informant observed a pistol fall out of defendant's pant leg to the floor. Informant further observed that there was blood on said pistol."

Tremendous.

Apart from having a name that sounds like a dildo manufacturing company, Plaxico has had problems in the past. Last year he stormed out of a strip club, insulting female patrons and refusing to pay his $2000 bill because "no women were paying any attention to him." Asshat.

Ace Ventura Jr. ...wait, what?

Either this idea sucks or I'm just pissed I've never had my own straight-to-DVD movie deal.

You suck, kid. Stand up straight, you idiot.