Celeb Movie Reviewzz: Cannibal Holocaust

Well that was quick. Peter Koss, who seems to be the only person to respond to these shitty non-'contests', was the first to figure out that our guest writer a few days ago was none other than Adam "Pacman" Jones, although I do prefer answers to be in the form of a question and repeated in triplicate wherever possible. You're 2-0, Pete. Hook up the mailing address.

Now it's time for another edition of Crunk in Public's Celeb Movie Reviewzz. This afternoon we're pleased to have respected 'subversive' actor/director/producer George Clooney with us. Mr. Clooney was Michael Clayton in the good film Michael Clayton. Today we've watched Rugerro Deodato's 1980 film, Cannibal Holocaust, which may deserve a bit of an introduction before we get into talking about it. 

Firstly, this is not to be confused with the 1992 hit single Cannibal Holocaust by Brutal Juice, the one that came with that B-side Punk Fuck. Not that one. The one I'm talking about is the extremely controversial and totally fucked up film that was banned in a fair number of countries due to its disturbing content. In order to qualify for free distribution around Europe, the film stars two Italian actors. The shooting is said to have been an absolute nightmare, and the release didn't go any better. After the premiere, director Deodato (who, by the way, is OUT OF HIS MIND) faced life in prison because Italian courts believed the graphic deaths in the film were real. To make things worse, the actors had signed contracts forbidding them to come forward to the media for at least one year in order to make it seem like the story was true. This would have been an awesome publicity stunt, until the heat really came down on him and in order to save his own ass he ultimately had to go on a talk show with the cast to prove they were alive.

I can't say anything more about the movie other than it lives up to its title, and that out of principle I will not link to its Wikipedia site. I suppose that is a somewhat suitable introduction. So, Mr. Clooney, would you care to begin with your thoughts on the film?

Mr. Clooney:

Ryan: I must admit I am also rather troubled right now as a direct result of the things we have just witnessed.