Hate, hate hate

Okay so I am absolutely certain that each and every hit this site receives is just me making sure my posts are actually up. No big deal, I'm doing this more for my own personal entertainment than anything else. The "contest" remains open until I get a single entry. I hate people so much. 

Anyways... I'm not into hating people, though, for things they can't help (such as race), as the first few hundred years worth of American settlers are now infamous for. But you know what? One of the very few positive side effects of slavery was the development of an intensely real musical culture. Artists like Leadbelly brought their traditional songs into popular culture, and obviously nobody can fuck with the fact that they're some of the most important seminal components of modern music. I used to sing this song as a kid, having no idea what it meant.

I fucking love this song, and frankly cannot get it out of my head right now.

I personally challenge your toes not to tap.

A Contest Oughta Keep This Interesting: Banner!!!!!111one

Okay so I've been working a lot and planning lessons et cetera over the last 2 weeks, so I haven't had much time to have independent thoughts, hence the lack of genius ideas gracing this page. So howsabout in the meantime I open myself up for a little bit of 21st-century sabotage?

NEWSFLASH: You can text my phone from anywhere in the world, for free, at the following site:

http://www.vodafonesms.cz/?locale=en

Do you have my number? I'll give you a hint: it's triple seven oh six eight seven hundred. There's no way this is a bad idea. GodDAMN, I'm a fucking star. I should do this sort of thing all the time.

As if that weren't enough, it occurred to me the other day that a blog needs a banner, and as such this is not yet a blog. The first person to send one to rlongoz at gmail dot com (prominently displaying the title) will have their glorious banner proudly displayed atop this site for at least a week. I probably won't post it if it insinuates that I'm a pedo or anything like that, but almost everything is fair game. Plus I don't think anyone ever reads this shit anyways. I am relatively certain that this is another very good idea.

Masterful Czech Graffiti: #2

I apologize in advance for the awful formatting of this blog. Blogger is not very user-friendly or intuitive.

Anyways... You know how everyone holds within themselves the innate dream to just drop everything they're doing and write 'shit' on the wall? Well I guess some people are dreamers, and some are doers.

Such finesse.

I've recently moved to a new neighbourhood called Zizkov, and have been walking around a LOT over the past couple days, thus exposing myself to a great range of graffiti themes. All of the forthcoming photos were taken over the course of a two-hour walk. 

Take a second to consider that these people are taking time out of their days to translate their tags into a second, or even third, language for the viewing pleasure of those who speak English. That's pretty impressive when you think about it.

The first two tags which inspired me to take out my camera that day. Short, sweet, well put (not to mention punctuated):

My friend Matt stumbled upon a blue "CRIPS" tag his old Prague neighbourhood. This was a most beliwdering sight in Zizkov, completing my confusion over Matt's find.

Just down the block, a public service announcement, imaginably to combat the prevalence of 'BLOODS' tags:

The Hell's Angels confirming their presence:

And what the hell, how about some nine-year-old millenium paranoia to round out an excellent walk:

Masterful Czech Graffiti: #1

This is a feature I just know will become a mainstay on this blog.  The #1 and #2 national passions in the Czech Republic are (as everyone will agree) picking wild mushrooms and going to the store to buy yogurt, respectively. But did you know that the #3 national pastime is graffiti, followed closely by hating on narcissists and warmongers?

Take as proof this 'beaut' I found on the street the other day:

...and its poetic complement, just a few metres further down the wall:

Homer Simpson sits, watching his favourite cop show, McGarnigle.

Chief (On TV): You're off the case, McGarnigle!

McGarnigle: You're off YOUR case, Chief!

Chief: What does that mean, exactly?

Homer (screaming at TV): IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!

Moments I Wish I Spoke Czech: #1

A few nights ago I’m walking down the street. It’s Thursday, maybe 10 pm. I see this guy, around my age, lying in a dumpster full of brick roofing shingles. His white collared shirt is ripped open and he is not moving. Jesus, I think, someone should help this person.

I have no phone, I don’t speak Czech, and even if I had a fucking phone I wouldn't even know the number for an ambulance. Well, I think, maybe he’s just drunk. After a few minutes of standing there I decide this is a human being, and he's not okay.

Anyways, the rest of this story is boring so let’s just say he died in my arms and a car bomb went off at his funeral. SKEET!